Why Self Help Books Don't Help Much?

Why is my life not improving in spite of reading so many self-improvement books and engaging in spiritual practices over a long period of time?

We are creatures of habit. Our minds are conditioned by past impressions. We keep following in our old ways until the cycle of ignorance is broken by constant awareness of ourselves. This is why we need constant reminders. Knowledge needs to seep into our sub-conscious mind in order for it to become useful to us. This is precisely why in the Vedic scriptures, three levels of attaining knowledge are prescribed:

1. Shravanam (Listening)
2. Mananam (Contemplating upon knowledge)
3. Nidhi Dhyasa (Practicing the knowledge)

1) Shravanam (Reading/Listening):

A lot of people read/listen to inspirational material for the temporary relief that it brings. When you are feeling low, positive thoughts make you feel better. It gives you hope. Inspirational material asserts that the way you are currently looking at things is not the only way to look at it - that there is a much more positive solution to your problem out there, which you may not be seeing in this moment. However reading inspirational writings only to feel better is limiting the value you can derive from it - it is like using an aeroplane to drive around in your neighbourhood, which you could be flying to a neighbouring state! 

2) Mananam (Contemplating upon the knowledge)

Contemplating upon the knowledge means reflecting upon the knowledge to see how it is applicable in the context of our lives. Contemplation is understanding the intricacies of the knowledge, and making the knowledge ours. Without contemplation, we are less likely to fully appreciate the real power of the piece of wisdom being discussed.

3) Nidhi Dhyasa (Practicing the knowledge)

Then, you may find that some people are able to speak beautifully about a certain piece of wisdom. They have understood it really well. They can analyze it, discuss it with others, and even challenge opposing views. However the appreciation of the knowledge is only from an intellectual perspective. They may not have made any effort to apply the knowledge in their own lives. This is akin to a doctor who advises his patients on the ill effects of smoking, but is a chain smoker himself.

Why does a person who fully understands a piece of wisdom unable to apply it in his life?

One possibility is that the individual learned the knowledge only to derive some intellectual pleasure or some temporary comfort. That is, he had no real thirst for self-improvement. The second possibility is that his mind, due to past habits, is rebelling against his own intellect and making it difficult to apply the knowledge he knows very well. For example - the person knows that reacting in anger does not help. However this knowledge comes to him only after he has already reacted in anger and then later regrets his act. This is why, in addition to just gaining knowledge, it is also necessary to quieten the mind with meditation. A quiet mind can grasp the knowledge better and is more capable of applying it when needed. Meditation also helps the mind to become more contemplative, where knowledge can be directly realized.

It takes consistent effort to put something new that we learn to practice, however all that effort is well worth it. There comes a stage where the application of knowledge becomes natural and effortless, where you move beyond knowing to being. This is the stage where knowledge turns into wisdom. It is a journey from head to heart.

Courtesy: by Sudhir Krishnan