Do You Have Many Friends At Work?

We spend the best part of a day at our job, and sometimes the night. We get close to coworkers and many relationships continue outside the office with happy hour at a pub, a Sunday barbeque, etc. That’s why it is so heartbreaking when you are laid off and those friends disappear.

Back to the friend who emailed me, desperate for an idea to find work. I asked about his network and he went to pieces. After so many years with the same people, he was distraught that people he considered close where now avoiding his calls and not answering emails. He wasn’t trouble and, as a union member, he left on good terms, awaiting possible reinstatement in the future.

“My network of people sucks,” he wrote. “Most of them are looking for work or secretive about projects and keep them to themselves. Most of the people I could trust in the past, I don’t now, and many former co-workers are either looking for work or have nothing to do with any of us that got laid off.”

It’s not odd for people to separate themselves from those no longer with a firm. When you are gone, you are no longer part of “the family.” The people left behind are frightened for their own jobs and it is understandable. It’s those who step up to help that will be remembered in the future.

Seven years at the same place and I’m over the hurt that some people have chosen to block me out. They may reach out in the future and I will probably treat them as if nothing wrong was done. To them, in their thinking, there might be nothing wrong with what they did. People continue to leave the company and become valued connections. I’ve “forgiven” some former coworkers who had a few bumps in our past. I chock it up to the pressure of an odd corporation with odder ways of functioning and treating employees.

I received a message from a friend the other day and he was despondent about fellow employees from his previous job that were ignoring him. After my disemboweling at my last position, people I worked with for seven years started ignoring me. I don’t take it personally because I have been through it too often and keep moving forward…but it still hurts and each time it occurs, I get a bit more defensive in what I will do for those I don’t know well enough to risk my career and happiness upon. Is it possible to understand the difference between friends and “office” friends and the relationships that go on…or don’t? With that in mind, set the following quote in your favorite typeface and put it on your computer: 

“A good friend stabs you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde

I have always been a big favor-doing guy. I have been rewarded and I have been screwed. I want to convince people that the high road in dealing with people is the best way by using real examples. I’m a big believer in building and maintaining a quality network. I am also the first to make an “enemies list” of those I would love to see fail.

Within that network my favors fly left and right. I consider it part of the maintenance of a quality network. The “enemies list” reminds me to carefully consider favors and who will receive the effort and trust.

Every expert on staffing and networking will tell you your best chance for that dream job will come from your network and not a listing on a job site.

Courtesy: Instantshift