Are We Losing Balance In the Name of Equality?

Why the Youth Must Rethink the Noise Around Marriage, Masculinity, and Modern Liberation

When the pendulum swings too far in one direction, even balance begins to look like injustice.  — Rollo May, Existential Psychologist

Marriage in India has always been more than a personal choice. It’s a sacred social contract, a cultural cornerstone. Generations grew up believing in it not as blind submission, but as a partnership rooted in trust, sacrifice, and patience. But lately, a powerful wave is shifting that belief especially among young, urban minds consuming content that sells freedom over commitment, individualism over interdependence.

One such example is a recent article titled “Marriage is dying in India, and women are glad it is.” While it's important to hear different voices, we must pause and ask: Whose truth are we hearing? And what is the cost of believing only one side?

Then and Now: What Changed?

Traditionally, Indian households operated on clearly defined roles. Men earned, women nurtured. Yes, these roles were often unequal and unjust. Yes, they were forged by a patriarchal mindset. But those structures also came with stability, cohesion, and community something today’s hyper-individualistic culture is slowly corroding.

Today’s Indian man especially in urban spaces is evolving. He cooks, raises kids, shares chores, and seeks emotional connection. He supports his partner’s career, asks for her opinion, and respects her autonomy. Yet strangely, this softness is sometimes misread as weakness.

We want men to express emotions — until they do, and we call them less manly.  — Esther Perel, Relationship Psychologist

In many cases, the emotional availability that women long demanded from men is now being punished by the very system that fought for it. When alpha qualities are rare in men, we invoke them. When rightly demonstrated, they deserve appreciation. But it is always important to respect his masculinity for him to feel it more strongly.

If he is adamant about a few personal quirks like bathing late on holidays or not liking a thing or two but supports you in every meaningful area, let him keep that strength. You may find yourself admiring that same strength in public when he holds firm and protective for you.

What the Data Says

• Urban marriage rates are dropping: According to NFHS-5 data, 1 in 4 women aged 20–24 in cities remain unmarried a significant rise from the past decade.
• India’s divorce rate, though low globally, is climbing in metros, and more so among younger couples who cite ‘emotional disconnect’ or ‘incompatibility’.
• A 2022 Lokniti-CSDS survey found that over 40% of urban youth think marriage is “not necessary” for a fulfilling life.
• These numbers don’t represent all of India, yet media headlines blow them up as cultural revolutions. We must ask are we forming opinions based on truth, or trends?

The Modern Paradox: Strength Misunderstood

Here's a story to ponder: A couple marries young. She’s ambitious, he’s supportive. He encourages her higher studies, works long hours, manages the house, and stands behind her growth. A decade later, she finds him too “simple,” “not driven,” “not exciting anymore.”

The same man who enabled her wings is now seen as holding her down not through dominance, but through devotion. What changed? Not the man. Just the narrative of what a “real man” should be.

Tradition vs. Toxicity: Don’t Confuse the Two

Let’s be clear. The old system had flaws. Women were often silenced, their education ignored, their potential wasted. Fighting that was necessary and noble. But tearing down the entire fabric of marriage and interdependence is like burning your house to kill a rat.

Feminism was about equality, not superiority. And in relationships, equality does not mean sameness. Men and women are wired differently, not better or worse, and respecting that difference is part of the dance.

Equality is not about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength.  — G.D. Anderson, Feminist Writer

Trusting each other is easy when done early. Marry early if your parents have your back. Farming a mold together is something you will grow to love. Men are still expected to be providers, and financial success matters most to them. Women, on the other hand, must strive to ensure a 360-degree success balancing financial independence with emotional and familial well-being. Not above or more than family, but alongside it.

Some women today say they don’t want children because it would disrupt their career trajectory. She might become a CEO in five years, but a break to raise a child must be viewed from a family perspective. Marriage is not a cohabitation test. It is an association of dreams, responsibilities, and sacrifices.

What the Youth Must Reflect On

Social media celebrates freedom, quitting toxic marriages, and “choosing yourself.” That’s valid but who’s talking about staying, fixing, committing, evolving together?

Marriage is not instant coffee. It’s not for the perfect. It’s for the committed. First 5 to 7 years are the learning curve, not the end.

Two people becoming one doesn’t mean losing identity. It means building something together that neither could build alone.

Also, beware of who’s talking. Many who say “marriage is dead” are processing personal heartbreak, projecting pain as philosophy. And yet, this becomes gospel truth for a generation that reads headlines but not lives.

Why It Matters

We are social beings. If marriage dies, families shrink, loneliness rises. We will seek tech, pets, or temporary thrills to fill the void of intimacy, purpose, and shared meaning. Depression, anxiety, and identity confusion are already skyrocketing in Gen Z, and one reason is the loss of anchored relationships.

A Sunday spent with family heals more than a thousand quiet Sundays with a PS5 or a beer in the Bahamas — especially when there’s no one waiting for your call.

We may soon find ourselves in a world where emotional needs are outsourced to machines, connections are reduced to algorithms, and loyalty is expected only from pets. When the only relationships left are transactional, even the most intelligent among us will long for something raw, real, and grounding the very essence of human togetherness.

Conclusion: Choose Balance, Not Bias

No matter what you choose; marriage, divorce, staying single, or living together every path has its own set of challenges. And when life gets tough, it’s easy to envy the choices others made. But remember, you're always living just one version of many parallel lives. Instead of looking sideways, look inward. Be mindful. Nurture what you’ve chosen. And if you commit to building a balanced relation rather than trying to make it work, it might just turn into the most beautiful version of life you ever imagined.

Yes, walk out of abuse. Yes, demand respect. But also cherish the ones who stay, support, and grow with you. Don’t measure a partner by his alpha display. Measure him by his kindness, his patience, his intent.

India doesn’t need to blindly copy the West’s relationship crisis. We need a model where equality doesn’t mean hostility, and where empathy matters more than ego.

Don’t pull the thread too hard in trying to fix the weave — or there’ll be no fabric left to wear.

- Hiyamedia