Joke: The Envelope
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominantly on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Dad”.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.
Dear Dad, It is with great sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom. I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with all her piercings, tattoos, and tight motor-cycle clothes.
But it is not only passion I have found dad; shes pregnant and Joan said we would be happy. Even though you don’t care for her, as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and already has a stack of fire wood for the winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that is my dream too, now.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it and trading it with her friends for the cocaine and ecstacy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better, she sure deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad. I am 15 years old now and can take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you!! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Dear Dad, It is with great sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom. I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with all her piercings, tattoos, and tight motor-cycle clothes.
But it is not only passion I have found dad; shes pregnant and Joan said we would be happy. Even though you don’t care for her, as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and already has a stack of fire wood for the winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that is my dream too, now.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it and trading it with her friends for the cocaine and ecstacy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better, she sure deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad. I am 15 years old now and can take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you!! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
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