The Splash of Wisdom

O ne evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandma replied, "Well, let me think a minute. I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There were no credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man had yet to walk on the moon. Your Grandfather and I got married first and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother. Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir"- - and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir". We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy. Our lives were governed by the...

Thomas A. Harris in his book, "I'm OK--You're Ok," says that all people are structurally alike in that everyone has a Parent, an Adult, and a Child. He points out that we differ in two ways.We differ in the content of Parent, Adult, and Child, which it is unique to each person, and we differ in the functioning of the Parent, Adult, and Child. There are two kinds of functional problems: contamination and exclusion. These three ego states should stay separated which is ideal. Diagram of three ego states overlapped. The overlap as shown above is contamination of the Adult by dated, unexamined Parent data which is externalized as true. This is called prejudice. For instance, beliefs such as "white skins is better than black skins," "right-handedness is better than left-handedness," and "cops are bad" are externalized in transactions on the bases of prejudgment, before reality data (Adult) is applied to them Prejudice develops in early childho...

If you are interested in reading this, then you are very likely someone who is trying to not call, text, e-mail, or even contact via Facebook a person that you: - Have broken up with, or has broken up with you - Have determined is abusive - Are highly attracted to, but is not returning your level of interest (for whatever reason) - Have an unhealthy connection or relationship with - Is presently in your life, but you're trying to not act needy with. Through this work, deep feelings might emerge or become triggered while you work on detaching from the person with whom you are having an unhealthy relationship. You will learn new behaviors, ideas, and concepts to use as tools to help support you in your process. The whole point of resisting the urge to call, text, or e-mail is to: Avoid the risk of getting rejected, hurt, and humiliated Give them a chance to feel the loss of you Not put yourself in a position of pursuing someone who doesn't return your level of interest Detach fr...

Life Vest Inside - 

A policeman was heading home after a long, hard day on patrol. He had dealt with a whole succession of difficult people, and a mountain of frustrating paperwork. All he wanted at this point was to kick back, unwind, enjoy some peace and quiet, and maybe watch a few innings of baseball on TV. But, as he neared home, he was startled by a vehicle that came careening around a sharp curve and narrowly missed his squad car. As the car passed within a few inches of him, the other driver shouted “Pig!” The police officer was suddenly energized. He slammed on brakes, all set to turn his squad car around and head off in hot pursuit. But as he rounded the curve, … he ran head-on into a large pig that was standing in the middle of the road! It’s a lesson we learn early in life if we’re lucky: don’t assume! No matter how confident we are in our understanding of the issue. No matter how certain of another’s reasoning or motives. No matter how obvious the point may be to us. Effective communication i...

It is a common sight in India to see mothers and grandmothers handing out ajwain seeds to family members who have an upset stomach. Carom seeds or bishop's weed also known as ajwain is a common herb found in Indian households and is well known for properties that make it one of the most used home remedies. But other than being a good digestive aid, it has a number of other health benefits. Here are some of them:  1. Beat indigestion and flatulence: Ajwain is packed with tahymol. In fact it's the only plant in the world with the highest amount of thymol. This chemical is very effective in helping the stomach release gastric juices that speed up digestion. It is known to help in cases of indigestion, flatulence, nausea and relieve colicky pain in babies. Tip: Boil a teaspoon of the seeds in a cup of water till it is reduced to half, strain and drink this water for instant relief. Another good remedy for nausea is to take a teaspoonful of the seed and wrap it in a beetle leaf. Pla...

Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and behaviour.  Berne in his Book  “I’m OK, you’re OK,”  says the ideal life position to attain is that which puts you in a position to satisfy your needs while being happy that others are able to satisfy their needs. So for all the naysayers of win-win out there who have not bought into Nash and his win-win thinking, pause for a minute and explore Berne and his “I’m OK, you’re OK” mind-set.  Very early experiences of the infant play a deciding role in the establishing  of that person's life position.  Once it is decided upon, a person's life position influences how she thinks, feels,  acts, and relates with others. There are four basic life positions: Position 1. I am OK -- You're OK. Position 2. I'm OK -- You're not-OK. Position 3. I'm not-OK -- You're OK. Position 4. I'm not-OK -- You're not-OK. Eric Berne in his book, “What Do You Say After You Say Hello”,...